The Thing About Being a Horse

No, there's a thing about being healthy as a horse. I've never been a horse. But I'd try.

When you're healthy as a horse you don't get sick days. That is, you're never sick. Horses know this of course and have perfected the art of the cough. This is an outward sign of sickness that a horse affects to get out of work. We call these whinnies and neighs, but really they're just little signals that say "Nope, I can't pull that right now I'm ... ahem ... sick."

Healthy as a horse? No sick days. The sick days are down on paper but you never get to utilize them because you're a horse. You see where I'm going here. Today I'm shrugging. Or neighing. Or at least I called in and told my boss I'm hoarse. This work horse just became one of those pot-bellied Shetlands that stands around and eats all day. The kind with the really long tails. You know the ones.

The other thing about being a horse is that your friends think you're some sort of health nut. What with your long sinewy legs and your healthy horse rump. A horse can't order a salad without some red-head* nearby translating the act to be public commentary on the importance of eating healthy. "The body is a temple..." she says in a mocking tone. Is it? I don't know anything about it. I just like to eat foliage.


*Does not have to be a red-head. These red-heads show up in many colors. Chestnut or Palomino for example.

Work Sucks

Exhibit A: I did not used to be a head on an arm. I had many other appendages. A leg here, an armpit there. I had two ears. But this is what I'm reduced to. Because of work. See Exhibit A.

It is quite clear that music-making is fun. And everyone loves music, right? But music isn't free, well, it's free for you but it's not free for me to make, and this is how I pay the bills. By selling my blood and body parts to a global science hegemon.

Exhibit B: The Rion Rose rides a mighty steed named Randy. He's blue. And now he's broken and at the mechanic's shop because of the many miles required to travel to please the mighty science hegemon and the music fans. Oh, my many music fans. It's hard to be so loved, and so important at the same time. I'm just so important. Alas.

Exhibit C: I don't generally pick my nose in public. On occasion, when alone or with my steed I'll finger out something that just doesn't belong. Lately I'm finding long white hairs in my cavernous preboscus. I'm losing my hair! Though you'll see my head (on an arm) still has a healthy head of quickly greying hair, my nose it's loosing its locks! Exhibit C people.

So if you love the music. If you love me and you want my body parts back. Send money.

And cookies.

Look Rion! We have a whole new look. And we're on last.fm! That's rockin'. Thanks Erin.

Something tells me I should stick to making music and let the artsy one handle the prettiness.

The Rion Rose is famous! Or I'm famous. Or there was a coincidence that happened once in Dulles airport.

I was flying in yesterday from Indianapolis, hurriedly exiting to get home to my beloved dog, when time began to slow. Despite my hasty gate I could tell everything moved oozier as a young Indian looking guy approached. He was wearing a black shirt with white block letters across the chest. Everything around him seemed to fade out while he and his smile became very clear. The world pointed to the words on his chest that read:

DANA LIVES

He read my face with a grin. We passed each other and it was over. Is this true? Really? I know that Mikey Lives because it says so on the Contagious Optimist CD. But really?

I think this is a very good sign. It was 4:44 pm on July 14. Bastille Day. The day the French citizens decided to take sovereignty of their lives from an oppressive king. What a flight.

Last night we had the best set EVER at open mic night. Christina's Cafe is where it's at on Sunday nights. If you're in Strasburg, VA at least. I don't know how far I'd recommend commuting for this shindig, but some of these kids can really play. (Some of the afore mentioned "kids" being in fact very old farts - old farts with fast fingers). I regularly miss watching my stories for this event if that tells you anything. And it should!

It was packed last night though and I had to wait a while. Yep, best set ever. On deck were Independence (finally got to play since that last fiasco in NY when it, uh, didn't get played), Devil's Tail (which lately has been a surprisingly big hit -lots of people commenting on that one), and They (and that's just plain rockin'). And the soup and salad wasn't bad either. They have really great food there - and a nice selection of beer-type-beverages. AKA. Beers.

And ... Tom announced our ... next ... gig!

Saturday, July 24th - 3 solo acoustics - Tom, Leroy, and Dana
at Christina's Cafe in Strasburg VA

Come if you can. Don't if you won't ... but maybe soon? I miss you ...

July 3rd we had our first gig in NY at a place called CinMArt at 432 6th avenue between 9th and 10th Streets in the Village. For one, it was nice to get out of Brooklyn. Usually when I visit the city my brother he holds me hostage in his burrow making me drink more than I want to and eat good food for no reason at all. He also makes me sleep on the floor, which if you know me, is just down right infuriating. I digress.

This time he and his magnificent band managing lady (Erin, the queen of The Rion Rose, the fairy who makes it all happen) took me into the big city. We knew there would be no one at the show as soon as we found parking. As in ... we found parking.

But it was actually a blast. There was much music and horn tooting.^ They played a short film. The lead singer from the Mellow Spaceships (check 'em out - I liked) suggested we do communal shots and there was about as much argument as you'd wager on. We introduced the band - there was much silence. I played - it was stellar of course. I think I played seven songs, way fewer than planned. I didn't even get to the Independence song, which I wrote last year after the 4th and will now reluctantly have to wait another year to debut on its day.

Then on came two dudes from the Mellow Spaceships - really nice acoustic stuff - awesome voices. A band, a rapper with rockin' lyrics, I think there may have been a ferret. I could be wrong. All in all it was a good time.

Met some good people, played a nice set, and they asked me to come back. So, ahem, take that Rory. Who said I'd never amount to anything.* Take that.

^There were no horns, but had this been a bible story, Jacob would have enjoyed it more.
*That's a fabricated lie. It would make my story more soap opera like, but I've never been a huge fan of opera anyway.

Okay, so you know how I was like 'The Rion Rose is BACK!' and then The Rion Rose slunk away in a slinking manner not to be seen for a while. Well seriously! The Rion Rose is ... going to make a better effort.

Erin is doing all this amazing internet stuff to make the Rion Rose come to life such as:

www.myspace.com/danaeconnors

How can I not?

So this is for The Rion Rose. Look! It's the Jake Wagmore! (photo courtesy of Erin Brandariz)